I do not like that feeling of having something lingering to do in the morning. I think it’s called work. Ironically, I had a very productive day because I put all the things I had to do behind me. Some business scurried away out of arms reach, and I ran after them but these were triathlon tasks. If I leave my self to natural tendencies for some reason I am a night owl. I don’t know why, but I just come alive at night, busy as a bee and awake as a vampire. This is only mentioned because I have a job to do in the morning, so my 10 pm schedule is blog, journal, meditate, and read, so I will be lucky if I’m asleep by 3.
I don’t know if milestones are meant to have the hollowness of “just another day” but we can only celebrate so much before we grow younger and are back in our high chairs covered with spaghetti. Someone told me that maybe God destroyed the world so I could have spiritual peace, and oddly my tarot cards suggest a similar decree. People get tired of being awkward so they drink, but I’ve never seen anybody who wasn’t born with self-confidence carry out a casual conversation with a beautiful stranger elegantly. We are all so secretly rough around the edges because we thinking very highly of ourselves. Anybody will swat at threats to their megalomania as if people were flies. Nobody wants anybody to be better than them, and we are worse off because of it. There are always people who take things too seriously and there are usually two outcomes for these people. They either get what they sought after (occasionally not fulfilling them in the way they expected) or they never reach their goal because it always looks like it is beyond the next horizon. I would hate to not be happy with myself at the end of the day. Oddly enough though, it is rare for people to look down upon people publically unless they are actually less qualified to do so. To say it a different way, people who are mean are usually stupid. Oh, if there was anything I don’t want to be it is stupid, and yet I hate the progress of others around me. It makes me feel so small. I know it is me that shrinks myself down to microscopic opportunity, but why is competitivity caving in on the team? It is just so much easier to call days off, lie in bed, and wait for morning.
Ben Bonkoske 