Ben Bonkoske

There are certain fads that suggest easy, medium, and hard mode. Although I fall into the “easy” category of the specific fad I am referring to, I have turned up the heat in other areas of my life, making me self assured that life is not going to be easy. The first and foremost change that I pray will get me out of my eucalyptus tree is cold showers. I am currently on cold shower #3 and I will let you know when that reign ends. Secondly, no sugar…or dessert. I have a bad habit of sneaking into the kitchen late at night when I can’t sleep, opening the pantry and gorging chocolate so I pass out on a full stomach. This has been the most noticeable difference in my livelihood. Since chocolate has caffeine, I would not get the desired sleep I needed and would often start my day a few hours later than I anticipated. Now, I wake up before the sun. And run. Run I do from now on. I don’t have a beach body, but more importantly, I am healthy. I think of where I was a year ago, and there is a very small difference in how well I am spiritually, but the difference is there, and because of this, I am different. I hate that I always try to push further, progress more than I would if I idly enjoyed life. It seems so easy for everybody, but me, I just don’t want to think of life as something that passively beat me. Perhaps it is the Aries in me. Thankfully, I am not doing this vindictively, and I doubt anybody has the time to notice me. It is a good fight, me vs. me. 100$ pay per view. I miss normalcy, even when I think of how unhappy it made me.