Silent September was almost a success. My initial goal was to just not listen to Spotify. I’m listening to it now on the other side of a month of quietude. One of my worst issues is just making bigger and better expectations of myself. I keep running past the endzone. I only mention that character trait, because on September 29th, I looked up, “jake paul song that was sad.” I found it, and that night I listened to the first minute of it on Youtube. The moral is, no matter how stoic we centennials try to be, there is always some soft-hearted cyber trash in us all. October 1st was beautiful, and there is a sadness to beauty.
Is there a beauty to sadness? I sure thought there was. And maybe there is a beauty to silence. Certainly. Music makes life beautiful too. Music can be beautiful because it feels understood and felt together. Music can also be beautiful because it understands us without asking us any questions. It is felt. Sometimes together. Sometimes in solitude, but even then, there is someone else we are feeling. (ROBOTIC GENERATED MUSIC ASIDE. POWER TO THE MACHINES. SPONSORED BY ALEXA) But sadness is beautiful perhaps because we think we feel it alone, and the worst part is, we usually feel it for someone else. Strange how funny you can be, and within less than a second a versatility of emotions.
A couple of last minute things. I realized I haven’t gone on a vacation, as in left Chicago, for more than three days in just under two years (Christmas doesn’t count). 600ish days. I was starting The Master program last time I went to Asheville. I’m Up In Michigan tonight on business. Look at my Big World. Apart from having a lot of conversations with those cityfolk animals – verbal exchanges usually for food, but still, pretty interesting. What a headache. I am a relatively modest city mouse. It really confuses people. Being intriguing is an innuendo. But as much as I like to pretend to say I’m all humble, I really do wish I could just live in a nice forest. I scared the hell out of more than just the animals when I arrived. Not a minute to waste. My dads and I watched Episode 3 of The Last of Us. They happened to be on it. I happened to be here for it. 120 minutes. Two hours. That’s a long time.
Ben Bonkoske 