Gosh darn Jesus, it is difficult that after such a wonderful night with long-loved friends and overdue laughter and dancing like a flame that I always go home so melancholy.
Jed was playing tonight. He knows to be humble, but it is so difficult to watch at the same time. He could be so big. If only that was what we didn’t want.
“I saw someone in the room, but I heard someone else.” I couldn’t close my eyes to all the symbols, and questions, and integral egoism. I really am saddened by the idea of never escaping my reality. I’d like to let it go! I want to! Show me how. I really wouldn’t like to be me. But there are good times, and such incredible conclusions occasionally. The best are just the jokes.
I still dance : ) I deserve a cigarette : ( I tried to solve the world’s problems -_- The flowers were called mums tonight.
I want love (an oxymoron). Too little to ask of the world. It’s not all anything. It’s always everything. You can not escape yourself, but you can screw yourself by doing the opposite. About a girl; Tradition sucks. If I’m over here trying to reverse greek mythology, maybe I deserve a call. And maybe she can drive.
Sometimes when life looks back at you in its beautiful moments, all you can think is, “What another great way to end.” And then I jumped in the water naked, by myself.
Ben Bonkoske 