I think pain changes the older we get. It isn’t the same pain we have when we are young. I was lucky to be blessed with grief young. Life feels like a lie I’m told to tell myself. Welcome to the most wonderful time of year. The first few last years weren’t so bad to celebrate by myself. It takes more and more to cry nowadays. Same old harping with a new tune. Happy aching.
What a great day for a cigarette.What a great day for a cigarette. What a great day for a cigarette.What a great day for a cigarette. What a great day for a cigarette. What a great day. What a great day for a cigarette. What a great day for a cigarette.What a great day for a cigarette. What a great day for a cigarette. What a great day for a cigarette. .
Everything is meant to suck a little. It’s fun to go see my family and be the family fuck-up. Even with whatever dry, I still don’t have a career, and ten years later, I still don’t drive a car. But what I have, is patience. I sit with the family. And I know, my time will come. Whether my time will come and I die with honor, or my time will fucking arrive and all this bullshit that I live with is going to be damn near worth it. Of course there is beautiful days.
Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day.Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful night. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day.
The nights are hard. I am alone. I am. But it is all beautiful. I am not enslaved to beauty though. It is the death of some good men. Beauty has so little to do with the physical. It is found so much more in music than in people.
It’s not that I don’t have literally hundreds of people, beautiful in my life that love me. It t is hard to Love Love. What do you want from me? I sure as hell had some love to give when I was a kid. I hope you’re out there reading this, Mary Chirstmas. haha. I’ll live just to laugh, and laugh just to live. You too, Miss Death.
Ben Bonkoske 