It has felt like so long since I have written just a tried and true blog post.
Last night I spent the night at my mentor’s apartment. His son is struggling with being bullied at the same high school I attended. I feel bad because it has probably been at least a month since I have been over and seen the kid.
He says he understands, but I know it hurts when people pass you by.
However, God’s honest truth is that I have been having a very hectic holiday season, which ends tomorrow with the anniversary of my mother’s death; it wouldn’t be the holidays without death around the corner.
And then I have until February before everything gets back into the swing of things because there are a few birthdays, my own included, that creep up around that time.
However, here is the story: My Thanksgiving was very draining. I was with my mother’s family, and being that we are not always the most balanced people, there was a little turbulence.
A very common occurrence at any Holiday gathering – A Political Disagreement.
It took a lot out of me.
I don’t think that I had some overly idealistic expectations that were squandered because my family didn’t show up in the way I wanted them to. I think it was more so that I put myself in the middle and tried to carry the weight of the family on my shoulders and it was heavier than I expected.
And then I wrote a 20,000-page essay about it and chain-smoked for a week.
Let it be known that whatever is online titled “Our Fucked up Families” right now is a first draft. I will probably finish it in about ten years.
But the emotional strife of holidays gone wrong, and some reactive behavior has made life “hectic.” I don’t think that life has really been any crazier than it usually is (which is pretty crazy), it is just that my mental and emotional faculties have been kinda compromised.
However, I know just what to do!
I have a good schedule and routine, and I’ve been able to get back to sane hours and follow my general schedule of things.
And the reason one follows a schedule is so that one can divert from it.
So the good news is Christmas with my dad’s family was great – except for one oversight – which was that I forgot all of the gifts I bought my family at my grandmas… Aside from that, it was great. I got all sorts of goodies. Including a microphone, and I just recorded my first podcast. So Hallelujah.
The Boncast Episode #1 should be up in a week or so. I’d bet you can guess who my first guest is if you know me.
And I also published my fourth book, Eleven Stories for 11:11 on the 23rd. That was a crazy night too.
But tomorrow I am cleaning my apartment, going to a meeting, and going to bed.
Saturday I am going to a meeting, going mattress shopping, Zoo lights, and going to bed.
Sunday I am doing Thai Chi, Visiting Grandma, going to a meeting and going to bed.
And on Monday, I go to my job, and it all starts all over again.
Ben Bonkoske 