Jee Wiz. Here I am, writing, mind a blank, only because I am living so much, I do not have the capacity to use words to describe it. As Kafka wrote one July 1st, “Too Tired.”
Man, I say a lot all the time about a lot of thoughts. I’ve known my process’s pattern in the past, that is, write for an extended period, untie some mental spiritual knot, and then take a nice long vow of silence until I have something new to say. Some new problem solution.
I crave the idea that my explanations deserve validation. Recognition would be cool, but I am less in the sphere of wanting to be the message, rather than carry it and see it implemented into the world. I worship Hermes. I hear and see my message all the time, it would sound crazy to take credit for it, so I pocket my pride.
I love going fast. I appreciate going slow. Sometimes we write a lot and feel we have a lot to say. Sometimes you have a lot to say, but don’t feel writing it. I’m so tired. And all I wish to reiterate is that I have cried so very much in my lifetime that now, I deserve to smile instead. Leave heartbreak, and love.
Ben Bonkoske 