Ben Bonkoske

  • A Thousand Splendid Suns – Book Review/Synopsis

    Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.

    There have been books and movies that have made me laugh, but you know that there is something significant when a work of art makes you cry. This was one of the hardest books I had to read, and I couldn’t put it down. Khaled Hosseini is truly a master of fiction. He is a doctor from California and not classically trained in creative writing, but make no mistake that he could be compared to a modern Kafka, or Hemingway the way that he can make you feel without having to resort to complicated language, tricks of grammar, or pretentious storylines. His own background, born in Afghanistan, lends a working knowledge to the plot and story, but his ability to write a narrative of two Afghan women seamlessly is really something that should be appreciated. He writes about human emotion and pain that is not mutually exclusive to gender, yet makes a compelling assertion for the mistreatment of women in the Middle East. I envy his truly gripping emotional captivation.

    For some reason, when I read Khaled Hosseini’s work, there always seems to be time to read it. It is like nothing else in the world truly matters because you must learn the fate of these characters. His writing is not suspenseful, but it is enticing, borderline enthralling. I felt like I knew the characters and my heart beat for each one of them. There were many times while reading this book that my heart was figuratively broken. It is impossible to not have tears, empathy, compassion, anger, and joy when you read his work. Every time I thought I could predict what was going to happen on the next page, instead, I was surprised. My only critique of the book is that it is indeed a very sad story. By the end of it I was emotionally exhausted, and occasionally thought to myself, “If one more bad thing happens, I’m done.” Ninety percent of it is just blow after crushing blow to the two protagonists, Mariam and Laila. However, it makes the few pages that have delight that much sweeter. Bottom line, it is beautiful. No words are wasted, no rabbit holes that don’t matter, it is constantly carrying itself to one of the greatest examples of ethos I have ever read. Do not miss this book or its predecessor The Kite Runner.

    Synopsis:

    Mariam is a hamari, which means that she is an illegitimate child of her father Jalil, a cinema owner. Jalil visits her once a week. However, her mother, Nana, is skeptical of her father’s loyalty to Mariam. Mariam asks Jalil to take her to the cinema to see Pinocchio for her fifteenth birthday but he never shows. Mariam decides to walk to his house. Jalil sees her waiting outside of his house throughout the night but he sends his driver to take her home. Upon arrival, back at her hut she finds that her mother has hung herself.

    Mariam is taken back to Jalil’s house for a few days until she is forced into an arranged marriage with a man named Rasheed. Rasheed is roughly forty years old, while she is only fifteen. They soon learn that she can not make a child and Rasheed resents her for this and becomes abusive.

    In part two we are introduced to the narrative of Laila. She lives down the street from Rasheed and Mariam. Her father is an educator, her brothers are lost at war, and her mother suffers from severe depression. She finds comfort in a boy with one leg named Tariq. She falls in love with Tariq but he reveals that he is going to leave with his family to Pakistan. They make love. A few days later her family decides they are going to leave as well, but as they are packing a rocket hit their house and kills her parents.

    Rasheed and Mariam nurse Laila back to health. A man comes to visit her to tell her that Tariq has died. She is devastated and upon learning that she is pregnant with Tariq’s child. She agrees to marry Rasheed without revealing that it is Tariq’s child in her belly. Mariam resents her for being able to get pregnant while she couldn’t. Rasheed is upset when the child is a girl named Aziza instead of a boy. Mariam and Laila become friends by bonding over the child, and regard themselves as allies against Rasheed’s abusive ways. Laila reveals that she has been planning to run away and asks Mariam to come with her. They are stopped at a bus station and are severely beaten when they return to Rasheed’s home.

    Laila gets pregnant again, this time with a boy named Zalmai. Rasheed’s shoe store burns down and they begin to starve. Because of this, they give Aziza to an orphanage. Laila risks seeing her but is often beaten for not being accompanied by Rasheed.

    One day Tariq arrives at her door and she realizes that the tale of his death was a trick by Rasheed in order to get her to marry him. When Rasheed finds out that Tariq has returned (from the loose lips of Zalmai) Laila is severely beaten. With a shovel, Mariam kills Rasheed. Laila, the children and Tariq flee while Mariam is put on trial for the murder. She is sentenced to death.

    Part Four is in the present tense for some reason. Laila, Tariq, and both of the children live simply, but Laila feels guilty that she is not fulfilling her potential and decides that it would be best to move back to Herat where they grew up. She visits the house that Mariam grew up in and talks to the son of a mentor from Mariam’s childhood who gives her a box filled with money and a VCR tape of Pinocchio from Jalil.

    Laila becomes a teacher at the orphanage that Aziza lived at for a while. She realizes she is pregnant again, and know what she will name it if is a girl.

    This book was powerful. It is not for the faint of heart. It will grip you and you will have a new profound empathy for the women in the Middle East. It is not a book to miss.

    97/100

    Instagram: Bencbon

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  • undone

    It has really been wonderful, but I’m ready to die. Not literally, sorry, trigger averted. I think that might sound ironic to my avid readers since all I write about is how terrible life is, the pains and everything. Good times aren’t worth being written about or captured. I forget anyhow. I just can’t get out of bed in the morning, afternoon, and for some reason, I’d rather binge-watch through the night than dream. I don’t want to dream anymore, therefore, figuratively if you’ll permit, I’m dead inside. I look forward to a good cry that might remind me that the are things beneath the surface. I’d welcome a shallow laugh. Something that kills inside, but comforts the impending seriousness I am consumed with. In the past, I’d have something to lean on. But these days, I’ve been whisked off to sea. What do you do in the middle of the ocean? Swim towards land or just make it easier rather than die from exhaustion. I have so little direction. This is what I’ve got left. This is what makes me want to swim. It makes me float when in reality I am drowning. I’m in a rush for no reason. Nothing or no one is waiting for one more page of chicken scratch. I get sick of my reminders of how awful I am at being reliable to myself. I doubt anyone would want to watch this disaster unfold. Too young to be excused. I think I believe that if I write so much, in my allotted amount of time, a ratio of days to words that is forever increasing, I will become immortal; I will dream forever in young boy’s and girl’s imaginations. Just don’t be surprised when I tell the world I told you so.

    Instagram: Bencbon

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  • Monday Night Poetry #6

    I hope everything is not about me

    I withdraw from life

    woken up when I want to sleep

    but sleep doesn’t make life sweet

    I do, want to be a part of someone’s something

    covered in cat fur and baby puke

    but those things never seem to want me

    so I pretend to see clearly

    like a paraplegic walking away

    Being unimportant reminds me of love

    an irrational reason to break the silence

    with a beating heart’s finale

    -B.B

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  • Understanding

    Oh boy. Boy, oh boy. I feel like a slug. I look like a slug. And I acted like a slug the past two days. I feel like Stephen King after he got sober and forgot how to write. His wife sat with him, word by word, until he gained back the ability to type seven hundred suspenseful pages. My creative output is appalling. I’m falling behind and slowly falling into the category of the ordinary. I am making excuses for why I’m so unsuccessful. I have no right to feel so bad for myself and be so lethargic. I feel like I’m just running on a treadmill. I might break a sweat but I’m not getting anywhere. I have nothing to show and I rely on an old lady who is postponing the release date of my second overdue novel. It makes me want to cry that I will be 24 with only one, poorly punctuated, mistake-ridden, expository, stream of conscious, craphole of a book. Spoon in the Road if you are feeling…masochistic. And why is that when I give myself a break, I end up feeling the most like shit. I don’t want days off. They plague me like chemotherapy. It is probably the roll of Oreos I ate today…and the pizza I ate yesterday. Nobody cares. My life is unexceptional and will be forgotten and discarded into the plethora of oversaturated prose and poetry. The moral of the story is that the party ends. We all have to wake up for work on Monday. I try so damn hard to be the most productive, but the truth is, I was a better functioning person while stoned. I wasn’t a better person. I wasn’t happier. I just wrote more. Not as consistently, but at least it was the things I wanted to write about instead of some half-assed perfunctory blog. I have an article I’m supposed to write that is already old news. Not to mention, I wasted this past year on getting clean. I just feel like my life has been a HUGE waste of time. I’m really no better off than I was a year ago. Technically, I’m worse off. I’m a year older and I have accomplished less with my life. I equate success with how much I’ve done. I do a lot, but none of it counts. And NONE of it seems to make a difference. I haven’t changed worth a damn. It isn’t the number of books I’ve read that I will look back at. It will be a combination of what I wrote, and what I did. I fill up my day with forgetful rituals that make me resent the day ahead. The Catch-22 is that when I don’t do them, i.e take a break, I end up feeling worthless, unproductive, and undeserving of any sympathy. I don’t want to be easy on myself. I want life’s hardship to make me a fucking better writer. I want it to fundamentally change how I approach a day. I want to feel something, and breathe beautiful air, gasping for my next breath because if I don’t I will surely die. What do I get instead? Lying in bed because it is too damn hard to sit up. Somedays I’m so happy, I can’t even fall asleep. Today, all I did was try to remember why I dream.

    Instagram: Bencbon

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  • The Alchemist – Book Synopsis/Review

    This was one of those books that when you pick up and read it, you feel like the voice of God is coming through Paulo Coelho’s writing. It is no doubt that his writing derives from mysticism, magic, and a great understanding of The Soul of the World. His mysterious past includes pilgrimages, songwriting, and insane asylums. He writes poetry in his prose. Every page reads like a sonnet. It is a perfect example of simple language having the ability to compel.

    The story follows a young boy from Spain. He is a Shepard who has a dream that if he goes to the Pyramids he will find treasure. A gypsy woman says she will interpret the dream for 1/10th of the treasure. She confirms that he must pursue his dream to make it a reality. A wise old man who claims to be a king, explains that the boy has to fulfill his Personal Legend. Everybody has a Personal Legend. However, most people do not search it out. “To realize one’s Personal Legend is a person’s only obligation.” The boy sells his sheep and sets out to Africa. On his first day, he is tricked and loses all of his gold so he takes a job with a crystal shop owner. The crystal owner explains that the dream of going to Mecca was his Personal Legend and keeps him alive, even though he will never pursue the dream. After one year of working at the crystal shop, the boy has enough money to go back home. However, he meets an Englishman who intrigues him about alchemy. The Englishman shows the boy his books. The Englishman is an example that reading does not equate to understanding. Together they set out into the desert to find the two-hundred-year-old alchemist and arrive at an oasis. There, the boy falls in love with a girl named Fatima. She is a woman of the desert and understands that the boy has to leave and fulfill his journey so that he may come back. Some women of the desert spend their whole lives for their men to return. The boy meets the alchemist who helps him on his way to the Pyramids. They are stopped and threatened to be killed but the alchemist explains that the boy can turn himself into the wind. The boy asks for help from the wind who tells him to ask the sun who tells him to ask the Soul of God. He learns that the Soul of God is his own. The boy performs a miracle. He and the alchemist are allowed to move forward in their journey. The Alchemist shows him how to turn metal into Gold. When he arrives at the Pyramids he begins to dig a hole and is stopped by two men. One of the men tells him that he had a dream of finding treasure under a sycamore tree in Spain, but wasn’t foolish enough to believe it. The boy understands that this is where the treasure is. He goes back to Spain where discovers the treasure and returns to his love from the desert, Fatima.

    This book is just a beautiful, simple story. It has heart. It is meaningful. It will ground you. Do not miss out on this book, it has the power to change your life. It is filled will many life lessons and things to take away. The journey is powerful. It might help you understand your own Personal Legend, and give you the courage to pursue it.

    92/100

    Instagram: Bencbon

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